Get A Life
by a beautiful catastrophe
Summary: IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REWRITTEN. "What?" It's perfectly legit to be afraid or marshmallows! They're squishy! And fluffy and white! And...and look like white bunnies' arses!" I exclaimed defensively. "Afraid...of...marsmallows! White...bunnies...arses!" he managed to choke out. Apparently everyone found this funny - especially that idiot Black. Hmph.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Basically a quarter of the readers who read this chapter have kinda despised it so I've rewritten it. Hopefully you like it!**

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The girl facing the mirror, sat there frowning.

With a childish build, short and not quite that thin, she could be easily mistaken for a child. Hazel eyes with a sense of playful mischief, long dark brown, almost black strands of shoulder length hair.

She quickly covered over the scar that she wished she never had, that ran over the side of her left cheek, using her palm.

"Oh, you're so ugly you can't take your eyes from you reflection, Knight." a boy with grey eyes sneered.

Sirius Black.

A name that everyone knew and loved.

"I'm sorry, Black, but if you don't like how I look, then, why even try to look? Just look away, then." Knight said boldly, before biting one of her nails.

"Are you telling me what to do?" he demanded, his eyes piercing threateningly at her.

"No...just a suggestion."

"Miss Knight, have you finished transfiguring your quill into a hand-mirror?" asked the transfiguration professor, Professor McGonagall, for the fourth time, trying to ignore the rivals' hissing.

"Yes, Professor."

She held up her transfigured quill that now looked like a mirror before setting it back down on the desk with great caution. Inwardly, she was seething, as he had went out of his way to make her life a misery.

When Professor McGonagall had dismissed them, on the way out, Black gave her a nasty remark,

"Who's woken up on the wrong side of the bed now, Knight?" he taunted.

"Stop it, will you, Black!" she snapped.

"I don't think so, Knight, I'm not finished with you yet." he pushed further.

"Just...just...GET A LIFE!" she burst out in rage.

The whole hallway of student who had been previously chatting to friends, talking to acquaintances, reading books, they all stopped to stare at her little spaz, including all the girls that fell for his charm, who would be sure to avenge his little loss.

Black just stood there with a blank expression and blinked several times before coming up with a very creative comeback, a very intelligent one that everyone loved to use,

"What?"

Knight shook her head, before walking away beside her friends Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon. As they turned the corner Lily sighed.

"Jazz," Lily began slowly, "You know you and Black are worse than Potter and I?"

"Yeah...I know." she agreed.

The girl they _thought_ they knew, the girl they _thought_ was called Jazz Knight, she detested the presence of Sirius Black. But they didn't know what dark secrets she kept hidden.

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**It would be absolutely lovely of you if you could just leave a quick review! I always count on reviewers to brighten my day!**

** Thank you so much guys!**

**Bree**


	2. Courtney Reyes, A Truly Detested Person

**A/N : It's been a long time since I've updated this fic in particular, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

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Surprise, surprise. I woke up with no traces of any peculiarly weird substances on me...wait...oh. I had cast a rebounding jinx over my bed, so that if anyone other than me tried to...I don't know, blow me up, then they...let's just say, we'd find them in the hospital wing, sooner or later. Well, at least I didn't find any chunks of my brown hair on the floor, or even worse, my hazel eyes, or to be precise, eyeballs bouncing on the floor.

Uh...heh.

Apparently, it was veeeery early. Because if Lily was sleeping, then nine hundred and ninety-nine out of one thousand percent of Hogwarts's population was sleeping too. So a shower might do some good. Some. At least, I needed to get to the showers before Courtney Reyes and Ashley Hale did. They took ages in there. As for what they did, I didn't know. As for what they wore...in Lily's words,

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_"Reyes! Hale! That," she pointed at their extraordinarily short skirts and their pink glittery eyeshadow, "IS A VIOLATION AGAINST HOGWARTS'S DRESS CODE!" she screamed, "I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU EVEN ENDED UP IN GRYFFINDOR, BUT YOU ARE A ABSOLUTE DISGRACE! YOU ARE DISGRACING GRYFFINDOR, GODRIC GRYFFINDOR" she pulled out chocolate frog card with Godric Gryffindor on it, who scowled at them considerably, "AND I MEAN IT! TWO WEEKS OF DETENTION WITH FILCH!" Lily stalked away, a quarter frowning, a quarter scowling, a quarter glaring and a quarter giving the evil eye. _

_I had sighed and made up a poem in my head:_

_Lily is crazy,_

_Lily is bad,_

_Lily is terrible,_

_Lily is mad,_

_Lily is grumpy,_

_Lily is sad,_

_And here she goes bashing James,_

_With a brown paper bag._

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I ended up singing that on the way to the showers,

"Lily is crazy, Lily is bad, Lily is terrible, Lily is mad, Lily is grumpy, Lily is sad, and here she goes, bashing James with a brown paper-"

"WHAT? EVANS IS GOING CRAZY ON PRONGS! I MUST GO SAVE HIM! I'M COMING PRONGSIEEEE!" Black yelled before running off to find his precious little "prongs".

I hadn't even noticed he was even there, before. My eyes searched for any other people before landing on Remus who had a giant gash on his face, supported by a struggling Pettigrew.

"Re-mus!I ca-n't- OOF!"

By that time, I had ran over to them, and helped get Remus to the hospital wing, I had no time for a shower. So I flung on whatever was closest to me. A Weird Sisters t-shirt, a pair of denim shorts, not bad for five minutes. And whoop-de-loop, out the door I flew. Well, more like this.

- **A few seconds ago -**

_"ARGH! LILY! LILY! MARLENE! ALICE! JUST PASS MY WEIRD SISTERS T-SHIRT NOW!" I waved my arms in the air like a hooligan_.

_"The monster is eating mweee!" Alice cried in her sleep, "NOOOOOOO!"_

"_Here! Pass me my quidditch jumper!" Marlene screamed._

_I threw her quidditch jumper at her, and my t-shirt hit my face._

_"WHA-AGH!"_

**- Currently -**

__"We're getting revenge for what you did to Black." Reyes snarled. It wasn't attractive. And I told her so.

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**Review please! Oh, and BTW this chapter is rewritten and the chapter before is fixed up.**


	3. Elephants Will Not Fly

**Well, my lovely readers! Wait, make sure i didn't sound like your mother praising you for your decency, i'm not that old am I? Well...I didn't think so. Anyway, onto thanking my reviewers! **

**karlaofallpeople: one of my favourite authors! yeah! Not You, is going well isn't it! and you know, I love how you portray Sirius. love, love, love it.**

**Drkness'sDaughter:  you know, I absolutely adore I've Finally Found You, and I get what you mean when you have a lot of hits but nobody reviews, happens to me all the time.**

**Chelseathefancymonkey: I've toned town thw use of b***h in this chapter, in fact there's none at all, thanks for the useful criticism!**

**and also, thanks to LittleCatZ for subscribing, peaceoutrunner23 for favouriting (is that even a word?) and GirlMarauderJonas for subscribing as well, oh! and while i'm here, just want to say I love your fic How To Swoon. yes, one of the best SBxOC fics i've read. **

**Anyway, enough rambling, and onto the fic!**

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So…simply, that's how Lily, Marlene and I ended up in the hospital wing with several boils on our faces. We weren't as bad off as Reyes and Hale, they bit off more than they could chew. Yeah, we got them back. Lily used the engorgement charm on Reyes head, Marlene didn't cast a spell but pulled out a decent amount of her hair, and….I..well…gave her antlers? Anteoculatia was the first thing that came into my head. Hale was lucky, and only got really huge buck teeth.

"Why can't you grow my hair back?" A whiny voice shrieked from the other side of the room.

"Miss Reyes, please keep your voice down. Other patients are here as well. I already told you, we ran out of hair growing solution. There are no spells to restore you hair back to normal so you'll just have to wait for the next supply of solution, which will be coming in next month. By that time, most of the quantity of hair ripped own will have grown back." Madame Pomfey told her.

"Knight? McKinnon? Lilyflower?" Lily scowled vigorously, while I gave a smirk, "How'd you get in here? You look perfectly fine to me. Did you just come to check on Moony?" Potter and Black sauntered towards us, leaving Remus alone with Pettigrew. Showoffs, they were.

"We were dueling with Reyes and Hale. Now piss off." I told them.

Black just smirked and said, "Nah, we're fine here. Let's stay, Prongs."

Sometimes, Pomfrey had good timing. She bustled over to us and gave us the clear.

"You may go now." She nodded at us and we vamoosed, out of the clutches of Potter and Black.

So out the hospital wing we went, after dueling with two girls that thought they could mess with Lily, Marlene and I. Lovely day it was.

"What do we have first?" I asked Lily.

"Marlene has muggle studies, we have history of magic."

Lily and I exchanged our goodbyes with Marlene, before walking into history of magic. Gladly, I sat next to Lily in this class, so it was bearable.

"Wake me up when class is over, Lils." I told her.

She didn't need to. I was half asleep when a scrunched up piece of paper hit the back of my head. When Binns wasn't looking, I opened it.

**What are you doing?**

Black, the asshole, had just wasted my time while I could have been asleep now. Damn him. I decided to continue to try and sleep, while Binns droned. I rested my head on the desk and closed my eyes.

Another piece of paper hit the back of my head.

**Kniiiiiight! What are you doing! Could you notify Evans that Prongs is in a stare-at-evans-for-the-rest-of-class-reverie?**

Seeing as I couldn't ignore him, I nudged Lily and whispered,

"Lils. Potter is staring at you."

"WHAT?" she whisper screamed, "THE ARROGANT TOE-RAG!"

On the back of Black's note I scribbled down a reply.

_Black. Really? I told Lily already. And to answer what I was doing? I was trying to sleep. You should try to do that too. Now lemme get my sleep, you git._

I re-scrunched the paper and threw it at Black. Binns never catches anyone passing notes. I sighed and tried to fall asleep again. But no. Typical asshole-ish Black gave me another note. It read,

**Kniiiiiight! I want to annoy you!**

By this time, it had caught the attention of Potter. Two pieces of scrunched up paper were aimed at the back of my neck. Ow. The first one said,

_**Knight, tell my darling Lilyflower that I love her very much. And why is Padfoot throwing you a note as well? **_

I passed the note to Lily and wrote a reply,

_Been there done that, Potter. And your "padfoot" or to me, the git, is trying to annoy me. Amusing I can say, but not very creative in the least. So stop him from giving me notes, I just did you a favour._

The second note read,

**Go out with me to Hogsmeade, Knight? You have a nice arse.**

I coughed. Man, the git thought my arse was nice? He observed my arse? The perverted git. What a compliment. I wrote to Black,

_BLOODY PERVERTED MIND OF YOURS, BLACK! YOU PERVERTED GIT! AND NO! I AM NOT GOING TO GO OUT WITH YOU UNTIL THE EFFING DAY ELEPHANTS CAN FLY!_

I threw it rather harshly at him this time. When Black got the note he just smirked. I got another note from Potter saying,

_**Knight, he's not going to send anymore notes over, but I'm sorry, Padfoot is devoted, he's bent over on giving an elephant wings so that it can fly.**_

Class was over. On the way out Black smirked a little at me (why is it everytime when I see him he's smirking?) and edged a little closer to me. His lips brushed again my ear as he whispered,

"Yeah, I meant it when I said it, Knight. Nice arse. And I'll be looking forward to the day when I'll make an elephant fly and we can hook up." He gave me a wink before walking away.

Damn him and his arrogant good looking charm. I thought I told him to get a life.

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**THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	4. Revelations and Treacle Tart

**A/N: whew, writing two chapters in a day is hard. One for this fic and one for another, enjoyeee!**

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After, well, "seducing" Knight, not seducing really, since she didn't fall for it, but anyway, Prongs and I planned to skive off Herbology and go to the kitchens. Moony apparently "needed not to fail this class" which was clearly a lie, since he got an E on his OWLs in it, he probably just wanted to hang out with Knight. Wormy on the other hand was going to fail this class if he didn't pay attention, so we just dropped the idea of even asking him.

I positioned myself on my bed and propped my chin in my left hand. I wondered when I needed to dump my girlfriend….Angie, her name was it?

"Padfoot, are we going yet?" Prongs snapped me out of thoughts.

"Yeah…just a sec…." I fumbled my hand in my pocket for a second, before triumphantly pulling out the Marauder's Map. Suddenly, fine text appeared on the parchment,

_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs  
are proud to present_

_THE MARAUDER'S MAP_

_Mr. Moony believes that Mr. Prongs and Mr. Padfoot should be in Herbology right now instead of going to the kitchens and doing some suicide mission._

_Mr. Wormtail is busy eating the plant Sprout has put on the table and agrees with whatever gibberish Mr. Moony just implied._

_Mr. Padfoot excels in Herbology and therefore can skive off the lesson and for the record didn't know Mr. Wormtail knew such big words._

_Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Padfoot and himself should already be in the kitchens, Mr. Wormtail should stop eating the plant and Mr. Moony should be more fun._

I shook my head, Moony was so uptight.

"Oi! Padfoot! Let's go!" Prongs yelled at me.

"Going, going…." I muttered under my breath, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

I checked the map for Sprout. A small ink blotted dot labeled Pomona "Professor" Sprout was scrawled out in Moony's neat handwriting. She was in her office. I nodded slowly at Prongs and told him,

"Coast is clear. Let's go."

And so we casually walked down to the kitchens for our "suicide mission" as Moony called it. I plopped down on one of the many, many counters next to James.

And then poof! All in one blink, a house elf, or to be specific, Milly, was right in front of our eyes.

"What can I do to help, Master Sirius and Master James?" Milly asked in the typical house elf voice of theirs.

It wasn't my job to order house elves around like the rest of The Cowardly and Ancient House of Crap. Ruling out my favourite cousin Andromeda and my Uncle Alphard, of course. So I asked politely for some leftover treacle tart from last night. James, being none the wiser asked for a cup of hot cocoa.

Milly came back with a thick, fat slice of treacle tart with whipped cream, for me. Oh, joy. It was _amazing. _Being Sirius Black, you hardly thought, or said that. It was food heaven.

"Padfoot?" I looked up from my tart, and stared at Prongs crossly for interrupting my food reverie, he continued, "You know the map? Sadly, Moony cast the charm where if you didn't know the person's real name, or if the person didn't want their real name to be known, it would just come up with whatever you called them. And if it wasn't their real name it would look like this" he pointed to himself which read out James "Prongs" Charlus Potter, "wait, no that's a nickname example" he face palmed "or this," he now pointed at Lily "Lilyflower' Evans, "no, no, not that, this," he then triumphantly pointed at "Blondie" McKinnon, "Look at this..." He pointed at a dot labeled "Jazz" Knight.

"Knight's first name isn't Jazz?" I shrieked hysterically, here I was, thinking her first name had been Jazz for the past five years! Bloody hell...

"I was thinking it was short for Jasmine, but I asked Lilyflower the other day and she said no. We're gonna find out."

"We _so_ are." I whispered.

I tapped the map and muttered, "Mischief managed."

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**Aaaaah, I love all my reviewers who have reviewed (karlaofallpeople, Chelseathefancymonkey and Drkness'sDaughter) and are going to in the future, (who knows who?) and thank for reading guys! (yes even the readers that run off without reviewing, I still love you *snorts*) Cheerio!**


	5. Snogging

**A/N: Thank you to karlaofallpeople, acebea and desigirl97 for reviewing, yellow-panda09, Princesschloe72 and TamariChan for suscribing or adding to their favourites. Okaay, I worked harder on this chapter than on the others, probably because i'm not one for writing snogging scenes, but anyway, here goes something!**

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I was thankful, thankful that Black didn't show up in Herbology and wasn't here in Potions either, and hit the back of my head with some kind of note. Remus was my partner for this class, and he was always really sweet. He was intelligent, kind, sweet, fun, caring, every characteristic you could deem in a genius.

So when I meant that, I meant when I was late to Potions, and I managed to trip myself, he caught me. Remus was the closest thing to a brother I ever had. I mean, my older sister, Lucille, went to Romania for a job interview to be a model in the Romanian Playwitch magazine and never came back, you can imagine how much I freaked out when two years later, my brother Eros ran away from home.

"Jazz, you paying attention?" Remus asked me.

"No, not really..." I looked down on the desk, only to see I had taken all my quills out of my bag and snapped them.

He sighed, then performed the mending charm.

"Reparo."

All the quills immediately joined and fixed themselves up.

"Thanks, Remus, I don't know what I'd do without you." I offered him a smile.

"Knowing you, you'd have burned down the Hufflepuff common room already if I hadn't fixed them."

I snorted, "So much faith in me, Remus. Although, that would've been a good idea..."

He just shook his head, and told me to pass the jar of honey for making the Felix Felicis. I obediently passed the honey and sighed, thinking I was going to fail this class. I had gotten a O for this because I was in the Slug Club.

I don't even know how I became part of the Slug Club. All I remember is going out to the Quidditch grounds to try out Marlene's broom, and jinxing a prefect who was arguing that it was after hours. I was caught in the act by Slughorn, and then wham! I found myself a member of the Slug Club. My thoughts were interrupted by-

"Oho! What do we have here? I see a perfect Felix Felicis! A perfect colouring! Give or take ten points each, Mr Lupin, Miss Knight!"

He went around and checked each pair's potion, said nothing genuine, until coming across Dorcas and Lily's potion.

"My, my! Miss Evans!" he exclaimed, ignoring Dorcas, "Excellent! Ten points to Gryffindor for a perfect Felix Felicis! Class dismissed!"

After packing up my things, later on, I found myself sitting on a desk next to Black, who wanted to "talk" to me for some reason, in a abandoned classroom.

"Knight." Black gave me the so called "charming" smile of his.

"What do you want, Black?" I asked him, "Have you made elephants fly yet?"

He snorted, "Eager, Knight, are you? Well, I can handle you now, if you want, you know." he shot me a what you could call a "seductive" smirk.

Two could play at that game.

I flashed him a flirtatious smile, and winked.

"Black," I let out a breathy sigh, "I'm sorry, but just tell me what you want already."

"And what do you think I want, Knight?" he purred huskily, he pulled me onto his lap, his lips inches away from mine.

"I don't know, Black." My arms snaked themselves around his waist.

"Oh? Are you sure?" his eyes ran over me, he was checking me out. He sure knew how to play at this, only my next move shocked myself more than him.

I leaned forward and my lips crashed against his. One day, I told him to get a life. The other day I told him, there was no way in hell I was going out with him. Now here I was, breaking every single line I had set for myself.

His wasn't as good a everyone said he was, he was better. I could feel his fingers tangled in each strand of my hair. Everything about this kiss was enthralling, an adventure.

I moaned against his lips, he was just that good. A heat was flooding me, one I had never felt when I had been snogging anyone else. The heat was rising higher and higher, a wave ascending before it hit the tide. He let out a groan, one that would make girls swoon in a instant.

Satisfied, that was enough I had given him, I broke away from him and gave him a coy smile.

I got up, and as I was walking away, through the door I called,

"See you later, Black."

I left him there stunned. Motherfucking no, I had just snogged the one and only bastard, Sirius Black.

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**Alright, tell me how this went, I need a lot of constructive criticism on this one! Thaank you so much, guys!**


	6. A Cross Between Phobias and Grindlewald

**A/N: Thank you to Karla who I love for reviewing, ISgrl15, WithBlackAngelWings and Ashlyyy1234 for suscribing/favouriting. Thank you all fanfictioners, for reading/reviewing/favouriting/suscribing, I really appreciate it.**

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I sighed. I was never the one for mornings. Sun was streaming in from curtains that shouldn't have been opened at this type of day, Lily. I sent a glare in her direction, before stuffing my face into my pillow.

"Jazz! Get up! We have Arithmancy first thing!" I visioned Lily screaming at me with a hand on her hip. Most likely, that was what she was doing.

"Don't wanna go..." I mumbled sleepily.

"GET UP!" she screeched at me, "I AM NOT FACING POTTER, THE ARROGANT TOE-RAG ALONE!"

"Going, going!" I groaned.

"HURRY UP!" she screeched, "YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES!"

After five minutes I still wasn't dressed.

"I'M GOING NOW!" Lily screeched.

"You do that, Lils." I nodded at the door, Arithmancy could wait.

With a harrumph and a flounce of her red hair, she exited out the door.

I planned to just hang out in the room of requirement and chill. But no. After I had changed and gotten ready, as I was walking to there, someone ambushes me. Who in the name decides to appear out of the blue and scare the hell out of me? I'll tell you who,

"FREAKING GELLERT GRINDLEWALD! WHAT IN THE NAME ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled.

Haha. No, not Gellart Grindlewald-

"MERLIN'S BEARD! YOU KNOW, YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME!"

Or Merlin's beard. No, not Merlin's beard-

"YOU ROMANIAN VAMPIRE! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!"

Or a Romanian Vampire. Enough with the theatrics, because it was-

"SIRIUS BLACK! DID YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER RIGHT NOW!" God, I sounded like Lily on a I Hate Potter day.

"Love? Where are you going?" he asked me, faking innocence.

I rolled my eyes.

"My name is not "love", " I air quoted with my fingers, "My name is Jazz. Or well, Knight to you. "Love", " I air quoted with my fingers to emphasize again, "Is what you call the blonde bimbos that happen to be your girlfriends."

He snorted. His "comeback" was,

"Look, my girlfriend happens to be...um...uh...aha! You just called Lyrianne Reyes a blonde bimbo!" he exclaimed.

I smirked.

"First of all," I began, tapping one of my fingers, "She is the sister of Courtney Reyes, a complete slut. Second of all," I tapped another finger, "She is blonde and has shagged or snogged almost every boy in the school, making her a blonde bimbo. Third of all," I tapped a third finger, "She has no brains. Well, apart from the art of excelling in looking like a fake blonde bimbo. And that's why that girl is a blond bimbo." I finished.

He looked at me, gaping. I mentally face palmed at his own stupidity. He regained his cool.

"Why did you snog me the other day, then?" He asked me, curiously.

"Well...I just did for the fun of it to see how good you were." I "explained", "Oh, no, I just decided to become a idiot with no brains snogging every boy in Hogwarts." I told him sarcastically.

I actually didn't know why I had done it. Weird, weird the things I did. It was just weird. I didn't know why I had snogged him anyway.

He seemed distant for a moment- no focused.

"Your name isn't Jazz." He stated coolly.

I bit my lip, to keep my jaw from dropping open. What was with the abrupt change of subject? It was odd. And how did he find out about my name? It brought back bad memories. It upset me deeply. He wasn't meant to know this. But, I guess I could lie.

"Yes, it isn't Jazz. How did you know?" I asked, pretending to be uninterested.

He smiled and waved a piece of parchment in front of my face.

"The Marauder's Map never lies."

The Marauder's Map? What the hell was that? Oh screw. I needed a name to pretend my name was. What was Jazz short for? Jazzy? Jazzimo? Jazzina? Jazzie? Oh! Jasmine!

"Did you ever think my name was Jasmine?" I smiled slightly at him.

He raised his eyebrows, hey! That was my signature move!

"Prongs said Lily told him it wasn't."

I sighed.

"Look, did it ever occur for you to think that Lily might've lied? Or doesn't the "almighty Sirius Black", " I air quoted again, "Have any brains?"

He walked away. And muttered something vaguely like,

"Well...that was easy."

Sirius Black didn't have brains. Lying was a fantastic method to-

"Hey!" He called. I turned to face him, "You might've been lying? How do I know?"

Or a not so fantastic way.

"I'm not!" I yelled back, hoping he would buy it.

He just smirked and walked away.

Boys.

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I climbed up the tree, sat on a thick branch, and leant against the cherrywood trunk of the tree. It was a nice sunny day. A perfect one actually. Except for the fact I had Transfiguration with McGonagall later today. Yesterday had been near perfect, except when I had encountered Black in the process of going to the Room of Requirement.

I sighed. Warm, sunny, comfortable, I didn't want to move anywhere.

Then a dog came along and gave a bark. I panicked cough. It couldn't be friendly, because dogs weren't friendly. The dog was big, shaggy, and had matted black fur. I hated dogs. I had a phobia of them. I realized I was screaming and clinging to the tree.

Cynophobia.

Tears where running down my face soaking my clothes. I couldn't stand dogs, any dogs at all. I was freaking out, freaking out. My screaming must have caught the attention of someone, since the next thing I knew, I was in the familiar arms of someone...Remus?

"...Remus?" I whimpered, clutching hold on him tightly.

"Shhh...everything will be alright, Jazz. Shhh..." he stroked my hair. Surprisingly, it was quite comforting.

I clung onto him, he smiled sadly at me.

"Jazz...I hate seeing you like this, afraid...I like it a lot better when you're all oblivious, non-observant, kind, even sweet, just not like this."

Remus Lupin had called me sweet. He had complimented me. This is the kind of time when I loved him most.

I buried my head closer to his chest.

"Cynophobia..." I whispered, "And other things bottled up..."

He sighed.

"Care to tell me?" he asked soothingly.

"Just not here..." I sobbed.

Gently, he carried me to the currently empty common room and I started the long, long tale.

"It all started like this..."

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**Most of "Jazz"'s background will be in the next chapter. Buuut~ not her name. A certain "someone" will play a huge role in this: and I'll tell you, it's not Remus. *cackles evilly* well, I'll leave it up to you to decide.**


	7. Author's Note

**Heeey, guys. This is a semi-ish update. **

**So, while i'm here, Bernardus, thank you completely and utterly for your honesty. You'll make a excellent beta-reader, in fact, maybe, when you become one, or if you do, you can become mine, or something? Cause' that was one of the best loads of criticism i'd ever gotten. So, i've fixed most of the things, you suggested I should fix up, except for the fangirl term, which I couldn't find a replacement for. THANK YOU BERNARDUS FOR THE CRITCISM!**

**So, like is said, it's a semi update. I've re-written chapter 2, which has had the most complaints, so it's been changed a little and, I fixed a bit ofth prologue. So, you'll have to re-read it again. **

**Well, thank you guys, always, thank you for reading!**

**With heaps of love, I offer you a virtual cookie and with heaps of chocolate,**

**Bree**


	8. Marshmallows

**A/N: This is, in fact the longest chapter i've ever written and this is the longest fic i've continued to update frequently on. Thanks for sticking with me, thick and thin!**

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"How did it all start?" he asked.

I laughed bitterly and wiped the remains of my tears away.

"You really want to know? My sister, Lucille, went to Romania to get a job interview for the Playwitch magazine and she never came back. She probably got raped or something, then killed."

He had a clear look of worry and horror displayed across his face. I gave him a amused smile.

"There's no need to pity anyone, Remus. Don't bother feeling sorry that my brother, Eros committed suicide and my parents were murdered by death eaters either." I paused, "Oh. Did I mention, that my best friend, he had no time for me anymore while they were all dead? So I had to get away from there. So here I am." I finished.

"What can I do to help, Jazz?" he asked me, worriedly.

"First of all, bring back my family from the dead." I laughed hollowly, "You can't do that can you? So please, do me a favor and stop calling me Jazz."

"What do you want me to call you, then?"

"Don't call me anything." I whispered, then added, "Yet."

I walked upstairs to take a quick nap. A small nap couldn't hurt could it? I dreamt of him.

_"It's your choice, take it or leave it. But if it makes you safe, then...I guess if it makes you happy...I just want the best for you..." he whispered slowly._

_I looked him in the eye._

_"You don't want me to." I accused him._

_"If you really want to hear the words from me, then yes, I don't." he spat._

_"And why not?" I crossed my arms over his chest._

_"I don't want to have you get hurt or hurt you. Ever."_

"_You already have...it's too late now. There's no turning back..." I whispered sadly._

_A deadly silence lingered in the air, before being broken by him._

_"What have I done? How can I change it?" he asked frantically, running his hands through his hair._

_"You can't change anything, you can't try anything. It's just the way it is. It's something not worth risking. It's just always been her. Always." _

_"Who?"_

_"Her." I grasped the portrait off the wall and brought it closer to him, "It's her."_

* * *

"Seriously!" I exclaimed pacing around the room, running my fingers through my hair, that needed more of that conditioner.

"I'm serious!" I exclaimed in frustration.

"Aren't you always serious?" Wormy piped up.

"Argh!" I exclaimed sitting down on the edge of the bed, "I am actually bloody serious for once! What is with this bloody serious, seriously, Sirius pun? It's not my fault that Knight has a problem with dogs. I mean who the hell is scared of dogs! Seriously!"

I shot him another of those looks, before letting out a frustrated groan. I grabbed a pillow, and buried my face into it. Stupid Peter. Where the hell was Moony and Prongs when I needed them?

Oh yeah.

Prongs got a detention for turning some random Slytherin's hair pink. Too bad I wasn't involved with that, and instead happened to scare Knight outta a tree. Which is where my other problem kicks in.

After that little "accident" occurred, Moony went to comfort her, so now, here I am stuck with Mr. Idiot, Peter Pettigrew. Just great. Even fantastic, hmm?

Yeah. Absolutely fantastic.

"How are you, Pads?" Prongs asked, strolling through the doorway.

"I'm fine, Prongs. Fine. Just a little peachy. I knocked Knight out of a tree. Turns out she has some phobia thingy of dogs." I shrugged.

"Wait...you...you DID WHAT?" he yelled.

"Do you actually...do you actually care about Knight?" I spat out with disgust.

"Lily...she'll think I planned all of this!" he exclaimed, pulling at his hair, "Oh...oh, what will Lily think of me...what will she think of me now! THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING! NOOOOO! LILY FLOWER WILL NEVER GET TO LOVE ME EVER!" he rambled on and on, and on about his never ending love for Lily.

What great, great friends I had. Not.

* * *

"Spin the bottle, Evans."

One end landed on Potter, while the other landed on Marlene.

Potter smirked evilly, then asked Marlene,

"Blondie." he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"I have a name, Potter, you know! My bloody name is Marlene McKinnon! McKinnon to you, anyway!" she cried in frustration.

"Whatever, McKinnon. Anyway, let's get to the point. Truth or dare?" he asked.

"Dare." she proclaimed loudly and confidently.

"Dare? Are you sure, McKinnon? Is that wise?" A wicked grin began to spread across his face.

"Dare." she repeated, only louder.

"Fine, McKinnon. You'll enjoy this. Give Moony here, a full on snog."

"WHAT?" Remus and Marlene echoed, loudly.

"You heard, me snog Moony, or take off some of... that." he pointed at her red lacy bra, "This is why the game is called strip truth or dare."

She blushed crimson, before biting her one of her vibrant, cherry red nail varnish coated fingernails.

"Get on with it, Marlene. It's now or never." I told her impatiently.

She sighed then crawled over to Remus and started...eating his face, as Lily and Potter called it. They had agreed truce for tonight.

"Ugh. I didn't need that image." I proclaimed, turning away.

"Gross...just gross." Alice shuddered before turning away as well.

One by one, everyone turned away, leaving Marlene and Remus snogging vilely.

"I think I'm mentally scarred...ugh...help me.." I remarked, putting my hands in the air.

"For once, I agree with you, Knight." agreed Black, shuddering.

"That is definitely not something you want to see everyday. I regret even asking McKinnon to do it." Potter put in, nodding.

When we had managed to seperate their faces, half the people looked like they were going to die of relief. Myself, being part of them, of course.

With another spin, Lily was going to be questioning Pettigrew.

"Peter, truth or dare?" she asked through gritted teeth, obviously not wanting to be here.

"Truth..." he said nervously, looking around the room, earning looks of disapproval from Potter and Black.

She sighed impatiently.

"Peter, have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Um...yeah?" he replied, sounding unsure.

Black rolled his eyes then said to Remus,

"Pass the Veritaserum, then we'll see."

One drop was enough for one question. Then Black asked Peter,

"Wormy, have you kissed a girl apart from someone in your family?"

"No..." he admitted.

"Sucker, Pete, you don't know what you're missing out on." Black shook his head.

"Ali, spin the bottle?" Marlene asked.

Alice spun the bottle, which landed on...oh crap. Me.

"Truth or dare, Knight?" Black asked me.

"Truth." When I saw the look he was giving me, I said, "What? Someones got to do it anyway."

"Alright. Name one of your worst fears."

The sweet taste of Veritaserum hit my tongue. I began to speak, slowly.

"I have Althaiophobia..." When I saw the confused looks I was getting, "Marshmallows..." I whispered softly, "I'm afraid of marshmallows..."

"Wait...you're afraid of marshmallows?" Black asked me.

"What? It's perfectly legit to be afraid of marshmallows! They're squishy! And fluffy and white! And...and look like...look like whitebunniesarses!" I exclaimed defensively, the last words coming out slurred.

"Afraid...of...marshmallows! White...bunnies...arses!" He managed to say between fits of laughter.

Apparently everyone found this funny. Well, it wasn't funny. At all. Damn him, Sirius Orion Black. Wait, his initials were. S.O.B. Haha. Son of a bitch. Take that.

* * *

**I love when people review or favourite or subscribe to this fic! Thanks guys, if you ever have done any of those! **

**Love you, Bree**


	9. Tutoring James

**A/N: I want to say, this chapter was inspired by the fanfiction Daisy Chain by Lyra124. Also thank you to Gravind Divine and mikaela97 for reviewing! **

* * *

_I watched as the velvety ivory white petals of a daisy escaped my fingers and fluttered to the ground. Wistfully, I sighed unhappily, he would never be mine._

_She had him, and he had her._

_My fingers slowly reached out and fingered the stem of the delicate flower. Before I could stop myself, I gently pulled at the base and one by one, I could feel the falling petals brush against my skin. I began to whisper,_

_"He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not-"_

_"Does someone have a secret admirer?" he teased me, walking towards me._

_"Has someone been paying attention in muggle studies?" I retorted._

_"Who's the lucky boy?" he asked me, as he sat down beside me._

_"A boy..." I whispered softly._

_"Why thank you, Miss State The Obvious. No offense if you're gay or something." he rolled his eyes._

_"I am not gay, let alone going to tell you who that someone is!"_

_"Whatever. Just pass me the flower, i'll tell you if the guy likes you."_

_I passed the crumpled heap that was already a faded grey._

_"He loves you, he loves you not. He loves you, he loves you not. He loves you. See? You have nothing to worry about."_

_"If only that were true..." I mumbled under my breath_.

* * *

It was another of those days that I dreaded. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday had passed so fast, that it almost felt yesterday that we had played truth or dare. Saturday...the day of truth or dare where my fear of marshmallowas had been revealed. Potions...I guess you could say wasn't one of my best subjects, but due to being part of the Slug Club, I got an O. Usually. And I could read instructions and follow them well, so it was once in a blue moon I stuffed up.

"Professor Slughorn! Wonderful! Just the person I was looking for! Care to have a sherbet lemon?" Dumbledore smiled brightly before hurrying to reach into his pocket robes and took out a packet of sweets.

"Oho! Professor Dumbledore! How generous of you! But I mean no offense to decline the offer, Albus. I just am very fond of crystallized pineapples in particular!" He said happily, while going around checking everyone's cauldrons.

"I was just wondering..." Dumbledore paused, "If I could borrow Miss Knight and Mr. Potter?"

"Oh!" Slughorn boomed, "Would you talk to them here? We would all like to hear if it isn't personal."

Black and half of the girls in the class looked expectantly at old Dumbles. Lily was looking at them with disgust before turning around to look at Remus and me.

"What do you think is going on?" Lily whispered to us.

"Dunno." Remus replied.

I just shrugged nonchantly before taking a quill from my bag and snapping it. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Reparo." he whispered.

"Miss Knight!" Slughorn exclaimed.

"Pardon?" I asked with confusion.

"Professor Dumbledore has decided you will be tutoring Mr. Potter!"

"WHAT?"

"You will be tutoring Mr. Potter in Potions, Miss Knight. I would have had Mr. Black, Miss Evans or Mr. Lupin do it," Dumbledore waved his hand dissmisively, "but Mr. Lupin has a tight schedule and that would be an inconvenience, and as you very well know, Mr. Black and Mr. Potter make a dangerous pair. Miss Evans with Mr. Potter will result in more bickering than working. Do you understand, Miss Knight?" he asked me.

"Yes, Professor." I slumped a little after I said that.

"Do you agree to tutoring Mr. Potter?"

This was like getting married or something. Dumbles as the celebrant, and ugh...don't even get me started.

I groaned and banged my forehead against the table several times, the whole class watching me like a hawk, before responding.

"Yes, Professor."

* * *

**Thank you to everyone for motivating me to write and don't forget to review**


	10. For Your Eyes Only

**A/N: Hello, world! *grins happily and waves* I'm sorta hyper today, so if I go crazy, don't blame me, blame the sugar! **

**and mikaela97, my ever so faithful reviewer, thank you for the reviews! And I kinda want to see Sirius jealous too! Don't worry, the plotline _will_ take a very unexpected turn later on, and Sirius _will_ get jealous. But until the sudden twist in the later chapters, enjoy!**

* * *

It had been only, yes, only yesterday, that I had been forced against my will to tutor James Potter. Yes, I called him James, after Potions we had decided to be civil to each other. And now I sit here and ponder over my potions homework which Sluggy thinks I "sublimely excel" in.

Now, my friend, in plain english:

I was in the Gryffindor common room, sitting by the fire in a very unladylike manner, with my legs widely spread. Expect the unexpected...not. Expect the expected. I was oblivious to the fact I was snapping quills.

Dramatic, huh?

Anyway, In front of me, I had out my potions book, which I loved to sketch on. Absentmindedly, I started sketching a piece of bacon.

"Bacon..." I moaned sleepily, looking at the drawing I had drawn, my mouth drooling, "Bacon...come to me..."

"Bacon?" An amused voice asked me from behind.

"Yes...bacon..." I doodled on my text-book dreamily, "You know, it has rather low fat content if you discard the excess fat...although that just would ruin the intense flavour of the bacon...yes, nothing beats bacon..."

"Oookay?"

"The fat of the bacon contains all the flavour, you know, there's no point in discarding the fat, it's wastes the whole point in bacon..." I murmured, "yes..it's rids the bacon of it's unique taste...rids the bacon of it's rich, succulent taste that you can only find in bacon...yes..of course bacon."

"Huh."

"I'm quite fond of bacon, no, I'm a bacon fanatic, to be honest..." I chewed a little on my lower lip.

"I think we've realized that..." he said dryly.

"Mission accomplished, Pads."

He nodded.

"Yeah...I think we've figured the potion actually works, hm, Prongs?"

"What is the potion called again?"

"You really don't remember?"

"Um...no. I don't. You know I have a terrible memory."

"More like most of your brain is occupied by thoughts about Evans." he rolled his eyes.

"Well, what is it called?"

"It's called Babble About Your Cravings: The Ultimate Potion To Annoy Or Embarrass People: For Pranksters' Eyes Only."

He withdrew his hand from his robe pockets and revealed a small vial of a bright turquoise liquid. The label sure enough read, Babble About Your Cravings: The Ultimate Potion To Annoy Or Embarress People: For Pranksters' Eyes Only.

A small blush creeped over my cheeks.

"Um...Pads? I think the potion is wearing off...you should've put more in her drink, or used a more vulnerable test subject..."

He gave a nonchalant shrug before saying,

"Let's take her to the hospital wing in case there's any nasty side effects."

He sighed and heaved me into his arms, carried me bridal style to Madam Pomfrey.

"Don't!" I squealed, clinging onto his arm.

"Don't what, Knight?" Black asked.

"Don't drop me!"

"I wasn't going to...but now that you mention it..."

"Black!" I squealed, "Don't you dare!"

"Or what?" he teased me.

I let go of his arm, then wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. I wasn't strangling him, but my grip wasn't loose either.

"Never thought I'd see the day this happened, Pads, Knight." James chortled.

"SHUT UP, WILL YOU, POTTER?" Black and I exclaimed at the same time before glaring at each other.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" James laughed uncontrollably.

"Just shut up...shut up..." I grumbled.

* * *

"What's wrong with her?" Black asked Pomfrey.

"Why do you even care, Black?" I asked him grumpily, crossing my arms over my chest.

"She's on her period," Pomfrey told them softly, ignoring my words, "and she's got a craving of bacon."

"We should get going, now." said James.

So we all skidaddled out of the wing.

The boys turned the corner, before they burst into rounds of undying laughter. When they finally stopped, James said,

"You love us, don't you?" he asked me jokingly.

"In your dreams, Potter." I scoffed and had to smile at his attempt of a mock-offended face.

"Only sometimes."

* * *

**I love when people review *hint hint* and only like 1 in 10 people will ever review *hint hint hint, you're getting warmer* so I would love it if you could spare a few precious seconds, *hint hint hint hint, really warm here* and if you could...(I think you know what I'm going to ask you...) try one of my special virtual cookies, with virtual e-chocolate AND a virtual cup of cocoa! I make the BEST, and I mean the BEST virtual cookies EVER. Now, apart from that *hint hint hint hint hint, VEEERY VEERY WARM HERE* could you just spare a teency amount of seconds and well...review?**


	11. Excerpt and AN

**Hey guys! Firstly, thank you to EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! I LOVE YOU ALL! **

**And secondly, just wanted to let you know, if you're looking for me, I've changed my pen name to BloodAndViolence so...yeah. Anyway, thank you my lovelies for the support! And just to make sure you still love me and all, here's an excerpt of the next chapter...**

**Unnamed Chapter**

**I sat there. And sat.**

**And sat.**

**I could now see why Slughorn was completely and utterly grumpy whenever he saw James, I could empathize with him. And when I mean I sat, I darned just sat there and answered his ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS NON LOGICAL questions about potions.**

**"In class, you under whatever circumstance, WILL NOT, blow up your cauldron with whatever substance you've got inside, you got that?"**

**"What if i'm on a deserted island and there are zombie mutants and the only way to kill them and get back to main-land is to blow up my cauldron?"**

**I groaned.**

**Well hopefully you liked that tid bit of a chapter! **

**With love,**

**Bree **


	12. Wedding

**A/N: Hey! So, I was randomly thinking what I'm going to do after I finish this fic. And I thought I might do a sequel to it. Maybe. We'll see though...and thank you to Karla for the lovely review! Sorry that I reminded you 6 updates later...^_^" oh, and good work on the recent Not You chapter, love it when you wrote Sabione doesn't kiss and make up, she kisses and makes it worse. Haha, love it.**

* * *

I sat there. And sat.

And sat.

I could now see why Slughorn was completely and utterly grumpy whenever he saw James, I could empathize with him. And when I mean I sat, I darned just sat there and answered his ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS NON LOGICAL questions about potions.

"In class, you under whatever circumstance, WILL NOT, blow up your cauldron with whatever substance you've got inside, you got that?"

"What if i'm on a deserted island and there are zombie mutants and the only way to kill them and get back to main-land is to blow up my cauldron?"

I groaned.

"James...I thought you said that you were on a deserted island? If so, then wouldn't you be alone, without anything or anyone? Meaning there were no cauldrons on the island or these itty bitty "zombie mutants" aren't there?"

"My bad..." he paused to think and scratch his head, "I meant a fully populated island."

"Didn't know you knew so many big words, Jamie."

"Hey! You should say that to Peter!"

"Well, the insult was directed to you."

"Wait...it was a insult?"

"Mhm..."

"WHAT?"

"Anyway, instead of blowing up a cauldron, there are now other people on the island, meaning you are on main-land and you can get them to help you kill them singularly. And tell me James...what the flying fuck is magic for?"

He looked genuinely embarrassed.

"Um...oh...uh, heh..." he muttered scratching his head.

"Next, I will quiz you on ingredients commonly found in potions and what the potions are called and what they do." I told him.

"Okay."

"What is the main ingredient used in a Restorative Draught and what is the Restorative Draught's purpose?"

"Um...I don't know...Hellebore? And...it's purpose is to...make you...lucky!"

I groaned.

"Get your facts straight, James. The main ingredient in a Restorative Draught is a fully matured mandrake. Hellebore is a ingredient used for making an essence, Syrup of Hellebore. The Restorative Draught's purpose is to cure a victim exposed to petrification. Felix Felicis, or the liquid luck is the potion that causes one to be lucky. James, you are terrible at potions."

"Potions freak...know it all..." he grumbled.

"What did you just say? Nothing? Of course." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah...absolutely nothing. Next question?"

I smiled alluringly. I tended to do that when I had an idea. James looked scared.

"I had something better in mind...although if you don't want to...I thought marauders were fun." my voice had dropped to a seductive whisper.

I didn't know why on earth I happened to sound so sexy when I had a brilliant idea.

He looked terribly and utterly scared, muttering something vaguely like,

"this girl...ah...she'll be the death of me..." before inhaling sharply, "Don't you dare try and shag or snog me! You're not going to...are you?"

I grinned, "I wasn't going to, James..." I pretended to think, "But if you want to...then we can have a shot at it...love." I winked slyly at him.

He started hyperventilating madly.

"NO! No...no...no...must...save...viginity...Lily.." he panted, he was freaking out.

"Hey, hey." I raised my arms in the air, "I was going to say we should go to the kitchens and get a snack or something, James, but I'm all for broom closets. I can see a good offer there...we going to the kitchens or a broom closet?" I emphasized the word broom closet by wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

"No..." he looked genuinely frightened, "I think the kitchens are fine."

Amazing, the power of mentioning broom closets to boys was. Mention it to James Potter and he'll freak out about saving his virginity for Lily. Mention it to Remus Lupin and he'll say he's forgotten to write his charms paper. Mention it to Peter Pettigrew and he'll mumble about being in-experienced. Mention it to Sirius Black...and I swear, he won't object.

* * *

I lay on my bed reading Les Misérables by Victor Hugo, one of the books Remus and I happened to share interest in.

_The doll of the Thénardier sisters was very much faded, and very old and broken; and it had appeared none the less wonderful to Cosette, who has never in her life had a doll, a real doll, to use an expression that all children will understand._

_All at once, the Thénardiess who was continually going and coming about ther room, noticed that Cosette's attention was distracted, and that instead of working she was busied with the little girls who were playing._

I sighed and turned the page, before I heard a loud tapping sound. I immediately ran to the window, before opening it to let the owl in.

I had been rather odd that the letter hadn't come to the owlery or rather the Great Hall instead of here. But then I realized why.

My cousin, Adonia, knew how persistent I was about keeping my name a secret, so, she printed out my middle name and my last name, thank god.

_Miss Ashe Knight_

_Mr & Mrs Theodore Xander Knight_

_cordially invite you to attend the_

_wedding ceremony of their daughter_

_Adonia Daphne Knight_

_To her betrothed_

_Rhys Aric Potter_

_son of Mr & Mrs Aymeric Norman Potter_

_on the the seventeenth of March_

_in the year of 1977_

A Potter getting married to a Knight, hooray.

I sighed, what a coincidence. Well, not really, after all the Potters and Knights had been closely bonded for centuries.

Wait, didn't that mean James was coming too? I was in deep shit.

* * *

**Yes, people who are dying to know her name, her middle name is Ashe. So...who's going to see The Hunger Games movie? Reviews will make my day!**


	13. Another One Of These

**A/N (haha, sorry, again)**

_Don't you hate it when you get a alert for a new chapter, you get all excited, click on the email, and you go, "oh, it's a A/N, dang it." well, this is probably one of those chapters. Just a few things you guys should know._

_Firstly, thank you to mikaela97, TamariChan and altissimorangerocks for the lovely reviews!_

_Secondly, I'm going to be on school camp for the WHOLE of next week so I guess there's no updating then, I'll miss you guys and fanfiction._

_Thirdly, I rewrote the Prologue, so we have a better idea of what "Jazz" looks like and all._

_And finally, you guys gave me inspiration to write Jazz's sorting so I've posted it as a separate fanfiction, called One Of Many._

_I thought a sneak peek of the next chapter might help..._

Look at me, and you'll clearly see a non-verbal message streaming out of my head screaming, I HATE SUNDAYS!

Well, yes, I hate Sundays.

You else what other days I hated?

There's Monday...and Tuesday...and Wednesday...was that it?

Oh!

And Thursdays and Fridays. Saturday makes no exception, it leads up to Sunday.

Um...wait...I hated all the days of the week. Pardon my temporary amnesia.

_And a usual farewell here,_

_Bree_


	14. The Hogwartian War IV

**A/N: I thought I'd just finish writing the chapter quickly now and posting it...and here it is...after sitting here for four hours facing the computer pondering if it sounded good enough. Oh well.**

* * *

Look at me, and you'll clearly see a non-verbal message streaming out of my head screaming, I HATE SUNDAYS!

Well, yes, I hate Sundays. You else what other days I hated? There's Monday...and Tuesday...and Wednesday...was that it?

Oh!

And Thursdays and Fridays. Saturday makes no exception, it leads up to Sunday.

Um...wait...I hated all the days of the week. Pardon my temporary amnesia.

Half of my brain was occupied by my cousin, Adonia and her fiancé, Rhys. The other half was split into six other things, stuff I didn't need to remember, stuff at the back of my head that's gonna come back and kill or haunt me, homework, friends and family, enemies...and of course...images of me hitting people over the heads with frying pans. Mmmm, I could feel that part operating already.

"Oi! HELLO! KNIGHT!" A boy yelled at me.

I blinked.

"Uh...hi? I'm sorry...what was that? You're...you're the guy who's best friend likes Narnia!" I exclaimed in recognition.

"Yeah. _I am that guy who's best friend likes Narnia. _You probably don't know me. I've only been at this school for six years, now."

I could feel my eyes widen immensely.

"What's your name!" I blurted out immediately.

He gave me a vague smile.

"Caradoc Dearborn." he nodded.

"I'm-"

"I know. You call yourself Jazz Knight. But I know who you are. I know your name" I was genuinely frightened at his extent of knowledge about my little existence by this point of his speech. "I'm not stupid. My parents are Hazelle and Mason Dearborn - remember them?"

My eyes narrowed, which was kind odd, since they were _wide _open a minute ago.

"You mean...my godparents?" I asked him questioningly, "Wait...doesn't that make you my..."

"God-brother?" he finished for me, smiling, "Well yeah, it does. We've met...when you threw food at my face in the Great Hall Food Fight, or to most of us, The Hogwartian War VI."

I grinned.

"That was _you? _You still remember that?"

"Yeah. That was me. And as for remembering, how could I not? I was a victim of the war! You were a victor! I remember exactly what you threw at me. It was exactly half a tray of baked potatoes and the remainder of the cranberry sauce."

"That was a good shot, hands down." I told him.

"The good old times..." he agreed.

* * *

_**The Great Hall Food Fight, Marauders (Minus Messrs. Mr. Moony, Mr. Wormtail and Mr. Padfoot who have aided Miss Lilyflower) VS Lilyflower (And Her Army, The Whole Of The Other People In Hogwarts' Population): The Hogwartian War IV.**_

_"You wanna piece of me, huh, Potter!" Lily screamed, "Well I'll show you!"_

_The whole of the population in the Great Hall went silent, all eyes went immediately to Lily and James with anticipation._

_Lily smirked an evil smirk, before flicking her flaming red hair back and taking a hair-tie from her robe pocket to tie up her hair. Which she did, in an amazing total of 6 and a half seconds, breaking the Hogwartian record which had previously been 7 seconds set by Rowena Ravenclaw, therefore beating the founder by half a second._

_"You wanna piece of me, huh, Potter?" she repeated in a low voice, more quiet, more deadly. Her eyes flickered around the room. "You think you're the only one who can cause trouble."_

_By this time, Dumbledore was smiling cheerily, his blue eyes twinkling merrily, and a melody that sounded like the mission impossible theme floated from-_

_"Albus!" Professor McGonagall hissed, nudging him in the ribs,"Let us watch the children! Stop the whistling and humming of that theme song from that movie you saw when you went to the future!" she exclaimed._

_Slowly, in one deft move, Lily dipped her finger into the boat of gravy and smiled, and took a carrot from Marlene's plate as well. Carefully, she wiped her finger ever so slightly on the carrot, leaving a smudge of brown sauce-like substance where her finger had been. _

_Lily made her way onto the top of the Gryffindor table and raised the carrot in the air with her left hand above her head, before proclaiming,_

_"Welcome to the fourth Hogwartian civil war in history! Let the Hogwartian War begin!" she yelled._

_Lily's eyes narrowed at her target. With great accuracy and precision, she threw the carrot and it hit the exact spot she had desired it to hit- a sensitive area that all boys had, that belonged to the one and only..._

_You guessed right...it was..._

_Haha, losers, I'm not telling you it's James Potter! You'll have to wait for the next sentence!_

_James Potter!_

_"BLOODY HELL, WOMAN!" James yelped, unbeknownst to him that his voice was echoing through the Great Hall, "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"_

_Seemingly in that one split second, the whole of Hogwarts doubled over in rounds of tremendously whooping whoop-de-loop laughter._

_James yelled incoherent things, in the Hogwartian language, clutching his groin before in yelling actual english,_

_"EVANS! YOU-"_

_"I've always wanted to this," Marlene batted her eyelashes dreamily, "Feeding, or rather shoving a spoon of peas down my quidditch captains throat has always been a dream of mine..." she sighed dreamily._

_Hmmm...yeah...I don't think so._

* * *

And that is the most ancient, historic, sacred tale of the The Great Hall Food Fight, Marauders (Minus Messrs. Mr. Moony, Mr. Wormtail and Mr. Padfoot who have aided Miss Lilyflower) VS Lilyflower (And Her Army, The Whole Of The Other People In Hogwarts' Population): The Hogwartian War IV.

* * *

**I'd absolutely love if you could review, I love seeing new names in my inbox! I just randomly thought if I ever get 30 reviews, i'll write a one-shot or a ficlet or a two-shot dedicated to the 30th reviewer...that is if I ever get 30 reviews...anyway thank you, guys for everything and if you decided to skip my A/N on the last chapter, well I will summarize it here, again. One, I won't be updating for the whole of next week since i'm on camp, two, I've rewritten the Prologue and that's about it, I think.**


	15. A Little Occurrence Caused By A Dog

**A/N: Thank you to the ever-so-lovely reviewers that reviewed the last chapter! That would be Karla and Rose, you two are now officially my favourite people of the day! Karla, I guess your principal does deserve a well aimed carrot from Lily to her groin! I'm so glad you like that chapter! This chapter isn't up to my usual standards, it's not funny at all in the slightest. And what's worse - it's a filler. Egh. And I have an excuse, I am sick. I have a sore throat, the flu and I should pretty much be in bed right now...**

* * *

"Oh my god! NO!" I screamed frantically, tears ran down my face, soaking my already wet robe from the rain outside.

It was Monday night, I was running across the fields of the quidditch pitch, crying. When I reached the edge, with sign of escape, I started to sob uncontrollably.

I could hear footsteps gradually coming for me.

"Don't...take...me...away!" I managed to screech between my never-ending, everlasting pile of sobs.

* * *

I hovered just the slightest above the ground, before planting both feet sturdily one after the other on the flat ground of the quidditch pitch. After dismounting my broom, I made to go inside, but I could hear a sniffling noise and I decided to follow.

A hunched up figure, a girl curled up into a ball was crying heavily, hair draping her face.

Who cries outside on a quidditch pitch in the rain?

I ruffled up my soaked, untamable hair before edging closer to her.

"Don't...take...me...away!" she shrieked, shielding herself with her arms protectively, before continuing to sob. "It's...not...my...fault!"

I crouched down so I could see her better.

"I'm not going to take you away, are you hurt?" I asked her a softly as I could. "Can you hear me?"

"Go away!"

I sighed and brushed the hair out of her eyes.

She was so familiar...who was she again?

"J-J-James?" she exclaimed, throwing her hands around me.

Oh yeah. Jazz-

Wait, that doesn't make sense at all.

Jazz Knight does not cry.

And if she does, she doesn't cry on me, she cries on Remus or Evans.

_Exactly, Jamsie, you're having delusions, it's a dream,_ the conscience voice floated through my head.

"Jazz, are you crying?" I murmured into her hair, which I also happened to be stroking at the same time.

Me? Stroking her hair? Um. This is awkward. James Potter does not stroke their tutor's hair.

"They're coming for me, James! They're coming!" she shrieked dramatically into my shoulder.

"I'm not going to let them hurt you, who's coming for you?"

"T-t-the things! You're going to think I'm so stupid!"

I completely remembered and understood what Padfoot and Jazz were talking about that day.

_"Alright. Name one of your worst fears." Padfoot smirked evilly._

_She looked like she was going to rip the hair out of her head_

_"I have Althaiophobia..." I sent her a confused look. What the hell is this Al-whatever thing? Really! Some people aren't scientific geniuses ya know, "Marshmallows..." She whispered softly, "I'm afraid of marshmallows..."_

Um.

Where were the marshmallows on the field then?

"Where are they, love?" I asked her.

Oh bleeding hell. Godric help me. Merlin, this is so stupid. I'm started to sound like fucking Padfoot! My name is not Sirius fucking Orion Black!

Whenever was the last time I comforted a girl?

I don't know, five, six years ago?

Gah!

This world is so stupid!

Damn this world!

And I was so lost in my thoughts I barely managed to hear her say, near the quaffle I had left out on the field.

There ain't no marshmallows over there...so what was there?

"Where are the marshmallows?"

"I'm not even talking about m-m-marshmallows!"

She started to cry harder.

"It's the dog! He's scaring me, James!"

And then WHAM! I saw a dog attempting to hide from me. A dog called **(A/N: *coughsiriusorionblackpadfoot*)** Snuffles. The apparently re-named dog, "Snuffles" **(A/N: *coughwho'sactuallypadfoot*)** had a lopsided grin on his doggish features. Bad dog. Bad, bad dog.

"I'll be back, okay?" I told her softly, before getting up to kill Padfoot in his animagi form.

* * *

"Padfoot! What the fuck were you thinking!" I raged at him angrily. "Scaring Jazz! Out of all people, Jazz!"

"Yes, Knight! So what? She's just a girl! It wouldn't have mattered any less if it was McKinnon, Evans, Reyes or even some random girl! Really, Prongs! What has gotten into you?"

"It's her. I need to protect her. I have to."

"Why?" he asked me furiously.

"I just have to. There's something so familiar about her. I've seen her before. It's going to lead us to what her real name is. There's something she's definitely hiding from us. And I need to know. So stop scaring her, or she's not going to trust us at all."

* * *

**Please guys, leave a little review, the more reviews I get, the more I'm motivated to write. Besides, I'm feeling completely sickly, even nauseous at the moment so it'll help me feel better if you leave a review as a small get well gift! Ooh, from camp I have nine injuries on one knee, I've got two bruises, three scars, one scab, one leech bite, and these things I got when I scraped and smashed my knee - again. Lovely, a stroll in the park it sounds like, hm?**


	16. Death By Hand

The high pitched howling laughter of the girl bending over the top of the limp body was unmistakable.

_She wasn't yet dead. But surely she was to die a slow and painful death by the girl's hand._

Tossing her pale almost white locks of hair over her shoulder, she cleaned the edge of the knife, which seemed to have much resemblance to a dagger. Poised, she lowered it, before just the tip sliced though the flesh of the chest. The crimson liquid on the end of the dagger was unmistakably blood. Her icy blue eyes flashed in such a sardonic way, as if she was eager, yet even hungry to kill more.

_She hadn't been dead. But now she was._

The body lay there, pale and lifeless.

_Dead._


	17. Elephants Fly

**A/N: Whoa. Let's just say I did NOT expect 10 reviews. I hate to tell you this, but the previous chapter was an April Fools day prank :D I wanted you guys to all freak ;) Don't hate me, though, hopefully this chapter will make up for it ;D And just one more thing: previous chapter was dedicated to mikaela97 who gives AWESOME reviews and this chapter is inspired by Drkness'sDaughter's review, which is why this chapter is dedicated to her :) You should thank her for motivating me to update, I'm incredibly slow with the whole write-and-update-quickly routine ^_^"**

* * *

Guess what? I ended up in Dumbledore's office - on my birthday. Happy 7th of November to me.

"Miss Knight...you do know why you are here, yes?" McGonagall pursed her lips.

"No...?" I said, cocking my head to the side.

Well, sure, I did.

"I don't have to tell you, do I?"

"I think you do, professor."

"Miss Knight, you know very well why you are up here."

"I don't know."

McGongall sighed, running her fingers over her usual hairstyle: her long hair tightly coiled into an elaborate bun.

"Miss Knight..." she began, "Pomon-Professor Sprout has alerted me that you have violated the dress code. Again. This is your second time this year."

"I haven't done it as much as Hale and Reyes though."

"Even if that may be so that Miss Hale and Miss Reyes have done it more than you, doesn't mean you won't be getting your well earned two weeks of detention."

"But..."

"No exceptions, you know that rule well, Miss Knight."

McGonagall was getting irritated. If Lily was here she would have ripped my head off half heartedly. Whoop-de-loop. I sure love you, Lils.

"Tomorrow morning, 7:30am sharp at Professor Sprout's office, Miss Knight. Be late and I will award you with a month's worth of detention."

"Sure."

She nodded at me briskly before walking to somewhere in the world.

Now that had been taken care of, I had to find out why everyone was acting so weird. Again - on my birthday. Everyone was acting really, really, really weird. Black was being extraordinarily nice to me, James and Lily were tolerating each other it all was weird. I walked to the Great Hall and ran my fingers through my hair, to tie it up, when I found a note - slip of paper in my hair. How the hell could it have gotten in there?

_Meet me in the classroom six doors down from Slughorn's office._

_- Lily_

What could Lily possibly want? She wouldn't do something like this unless it was extremely important. I headed towards the classroom - six doors down form Slughorn's office.

* * *

_**James' **__**POV**_ _**(A day before Jazz's birthday)**_

"Evans...Lily. I need your help." I said pleadingly meeting her gaze, I looked right down into her deep green emerald eyes.

"Potter, what do you want? Oh, you want to ask me out? No." Evans spat out at me in disgust. It hurt.

"No, it's about Jazz."

Her facial expression softened.

"What about Jazz?"

"It's her birthday tomorrow. And I want to give her the best - most memorable birthday present she could ever have. Can you help?" I noticed my voice had fell from a loud talk to a small whisper.

"I'll help." she seemed determined. "For Jazz."

* * *

_**Lily's POV (A day before Jazz's birthday)**_

"Ev-Lily, we need you to write a note to Jazz saying you need to meet her in the classroom six doors down from Slughorn's office. We want her to meet Padfoot there. But you'll have to hide the note somehow, until the right time." Potter told me.

"I have an idea, that may just work." I smiled at him slightly.

He smiled back and leant-

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Evans, Prongs. Hold your hippogriffs. We _do not_ have time to waste on your mushy romance journey story thing. We _can not _waste our time on this kind of thing. Prongs, be a man and stop giving into Evans' womanly charm, will you?" Black exclaimed, looking from me to Potter.

"Just because you're an ugly toadstool with the emotional range of a pebble, Pads." Potter shot at him.

I had to laugh at Potter's comment.

"Oh, Prongs! You leave me wounded! I am Hogwarts' sex god! All of the girls want some of this!" he pointed to his arse. What? I am a girl cough _newsflash _cough and I do not want some of Black's arse! "Present female company included, of course! I am a beast!" he exclaimed proudly, puffing out his chest. "And I'm not afraid to show it!" Black added, lifting up his t-shirt, revealing his abs.

AHHHHHH! LILY + SEEING BOYS' MUSCULAR ABS = EXPLOSION = FATAL INJURY! AHHHHH! LILY! LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! AHHHHH! ASDFGHJKL! HELP ME! LILY IS BEING BLINDED! I AM GOING TO DIE! ME + MY EYES SEEING THINGS = HORRIBLY BAD REACTION! GAAAAAAAH! NOT GOOD!

"Blinded by my manly goods, Evans?" Black smirked at me, "Are they so incredibly blindingly fit that the great oh-so-mighty little Miss Lily Evans has to look away?"

"NO!" I exclaimed a little too quickly.

He sighed unhappily.

"When will someone realize that I'm Merlin's gift to the world! My abs are the best abs in history! You're just not admitting because Prongs is in the room, right? It's because you like his abs better than mine!"

"WHAT?" I exclaimed louder than when I previously exclaimed 'no'.

"Just give her the note somehow, will you?" Potter asked, smiling slightly at me.

"It's all for Jazz." I murmured, nodding.

_**The Next Morning**_

"Jazz!" I exclaimed after she had gotten changed. She was brushing at her teeth vigorously.

"Vatbis jit, Zidy?" she asked me through a mouthful of foam and bubbles.

"What?"

She spat the green foam out of her mouth into the sink, before repeating.

"What is it, Lily?"

"Can I do your hair?"

"Sure, I guess..."

My plan was the slip the note into Jazz's hair without her or anyone noticing at the time. Then the note was bound to either fall out or Jazz would undo her hair. The note read,

_Meet me in the classroom six doors down from Slughorn's office._

_- Lily_

After I had done what I needed to do without fail, I murmured to myself,

"Mission accomplished."

* * *

**_Jazz's POV (Present)_**

_What on earth would Lily want, though? _I thought to myself.

When I reached the location - six doors down from Slughorn's office, I opened the door and walked in. Wait- this classroom was familiar...this was the one Black had snogged me in...why was I here? Why would Lily want me here out of all places?

_Click._

With a click, the door was locked. I walked back to open the door - it was magically locked!

"Happy birthday, Knight." I turned around to face who was talking, "Missed me, did you?"

Black was sitting on the exact same desk as before - smirking widely.

"Like the flying elephant over there?"

* * *

**I wonder how you interpret the last line "Like the flying elephant over there?"? I'll give you a clue to what is going to happen...re-read chapter 3.**

**Anyway, I may not update this fic for a while - I need to go update frenzy on some of my other fics, like How I Broke The Marauder's Heart and Smirk. So to pass the time when I'm on my "i'm not updating my Get A Life" phase you might want to read those. If not - I direct you over to She Said No by Drkness'sDaughter, Mischief by FreeLover and Sirius Black and the world behind the Veil by MsTonksLupin. All super awesome SB/OC fics ;D **

**Love, **

**Bree**

**(oh, by the way if you have ANY questions you'd like me to answer, don't hesitate to PM me ^_^)**


	18. READ PLEASE IMPORTANT

**Hi.**

**Remember me?**

**Well, I came back from the world of the dead.**

**I'm joking. Honestly, I'm alive and well, and working on all my other fics.**

**The thing is, my muse for this fic is burning out quickly. Honestly, when I re-read this, I want to burn my eyes out. My writing has developed a lot more from the chapters you probably read (why would you be here otherwise?) ages ago, or not so long ago. Personally, as much as I hate to admit it, I think "Jazz" is a Mary Sue. Sure, she's got the "I'm afraid of dogs and marshmallow" thing, but what other flaws does she have? I think this fic is turning into one of those cliche SB/OC fics where OC and Sirius hate each other/are rivals, they work out some understanding, then they fall in "love", they have their happily ever after or Voldemort kills them all.**

**I want to know what you want me to do with this. Options are -**

**a) revamp this. I'll rewrite it from the Prologue to chapter 17 and then continue writing new chapters**

**b) keep writing onwards from 17 even though I think it sucks and Jazz is a Mary Sue**

**c) trash the fic.**

**d) do whatever the hell you like with this, I don't care.**

**e) don't delete the fic - but don't continue writing.**

**Your choice. Honestly, if you pick c, d or e, I won't be the slightest bit offended.**

**PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WRITE IT IN A REVIEW, YOU CAN PM ME OR EMAIL ME AT THIS LINK: momokillsyou hotmail (at sign here) . com**

**Thank you so much for reading this far**

**- Bree**


	19. FINALE SUPER SUPER IMPORTANT

**Hi again.**

**Have you guys gotten sick of me yet? Maybe? Yes? No?**

**Oh, well, anyways, I'll share my lovely (and not so lovely) news with you all. **

**a) I have decided that I'm going to make a lot of changes to this fic and revamp it. The plot will probably be ALMOST the same but Jazz will have a new name because...I really don't like the name Jazz. It's a style of music.**

**b) I'm sick. As in coughing my lights out until my ribcage hurts and it feels like someone's punching me in the stomach everytime I cough (not exaggerating under any circumstance). So here I am at home, stuffing myself with comfort food and reading fanfiction and getting punched in the stomach. Just saying, I didn't write this for me to get a pity party. I just wanted to let you know that before I start this fic from the beginning, I need to you know, get a bit better.**

**c) EXAMS ARE OVER! Thank goodness for that. Stress over. Whew.**

**d) When I went through all the reviews for the last chapter, I was so amazed that no one wanted me to go for c), d) or e). It made me kind of emotional at one point that you were all so intent on me finishing this. You all made my day. Espesh the ones that went for b) ily for loving/liking my crappy writing from back then. For the people that chose a) ily as well because you know, you like understood that it could be better. so thank you all, you're all the bestest best fans I could EVER wish for. I just realized that as an author in total I've gotten 103 reviews and more than 50 percent came from this fic. I really do think you'll like the new version better than this one, so brace yourselves to start from the beginning, it's going to be a bumpy ride.**

**(the MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR reason I want to start this again is because the ending is like super super depressing. PM me if you do want to find out what happens to Jazz in the old version because I am not putting in the depressing stuff in the new vs.)**

**Okay, I'm going to leave this fic up if anyone still wants to read this version, but the new one will be up soon. I'll update this A/N when the new fic comes in, or you can put me on author alerts and the fic will be called "Guess My Name". Since I'm not writing in this actual fic anymore, I think this could pretty much be called the ending.**

**So thank you ever so much to, MsTonksLupin who gave me the some of the best reviews (honestly, Stella, you totally lied when you said Jazz wasn't a Mary-Sue, but I do believe she wasn't a fluffy unicorn so there you go, ILY) ever, I can pretty much say she gave the most meaningful ones to me. I also want to thank FreeLover/RawMateriel/Karla for your reviews, you stuck with me from the beginning until the end, and really I don't know how you actually liked my dipshit. Thank you to mikaela97 who was a constant reviewer as well and showered me with her love for my virtual cookies which were what probably kept her reading, I like also want to thank Drkness'sDaughter/Violet who was probably the reason that mikaela started reading my fics and because you know, Violet is just awesome, thank you to everyone else who reviewed as well, whether you reviewed because you hated it to whether you were a guest reviewer or had a FFN account.**

******I have another fic called How I Broke The Marauder's Heart which you may like and is where all my frustration and rambles go into making it very cliche and mildly amusing to read, feel free to check that one out because I know I won't be deleting it because the clicheness is purposely there. For non clicheness check out my other fic Smirk, which is darker.**

**THANK YOU ALL SO SO SO VERY MUCH and I do hope to see you on the "Guess My Name" which will be better than ever. **

**(just saying, after I finish the new fic, I'm going to back up all the reviews I had from this fic, then delete it, ahem, so save a hard copy of it if you'd like.)**

**This has been really long and I think you don't want me to keep you reading this any longer, so goodbye to Get A Life.**

**I'll miss you all, honestly.**

**Until then,**

**- B R E E. xxoo**


	20. REWRITTEN VERSION UP!

**Hi there :)**

**I've written out the first (very short) chapter of the new version of **Get A Life**, which I have called **red versus black**, as it seemed more fitting rather than **Guess My Name.** If you'd like to check it out, go to my profile page, and you'll see **red versus black** - non-capitalized by the way.**

**Thank you to those of you who have stuck with me until the very end.**

**- Bree**


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